CCC - ENewsletter

When honoring parents and honoring God may conflict
By Apostle Frederick K.C. Price

Ephesians 6:1-3 (NKJV)
1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise:
3. "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

The statement, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, was spoken to alert Christians to a particular aspect of the family. However, not every Christian child has Christian parents. Was Paul saying that children are to obey parents regardless of whether they are Christians or not?

I believe what Paul meant was that, no matter how young children are, they are commanded to obey their parents when what the parents tell them is consistent with God’s Word. They have no other alternative if they are to remain in the perfect will of God.

When I was younger, a lady and her daughter were part of a group that I ran with. You never saw the woman with her husband on a consistent basis. We heard things about her, but we always saw her and her daughter together. Later, we found out the mother was a prostitute, and she was training the daughter to be a prostitute.

The Word and the Lord would be the only way out of that kind of life for that daughter. If she became born-again, she would have to follow her conscience and God’s will, and refuse to obey her mother. It would have been a very hard situation for her, perhaps almost unbearable, but it would have been a case where she would have to put God first, not her parents.

Other families teach their children to steal before the children have a chance to listen to their conscience. The parents send their child into a store, and make a game out of shoplifting. The child thinks it is fun.

If that child became born-again, and received the revelation that what such activity was sin, he would have to stop and not obey his parents. There probably would be hard repercussions to endure, such as beatings, but the obligation would be to God first. In such a case, hopefully, a child would have a pastor or a Christian friend to appeal to.

The principle involved is that children are required only to obey their parents in the Lord. There may be some things parents will tell their children to do that are not scripturally oriented in one way or another, such as personal rules and regulations of the house. As long as these rules are not in clear violation of the Word of God, children are to obey.

For example, the Bible does not tell children to brush their teeth. However, if the parents insist that their children brush their teeth, they have no right to disobey. If they do, they are in rebellion, and that will create some spiritual problems for them.

Because one of the Ten Commandments is to "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you" (Exodus 20:12), we might think Paul should have mentioned that first. But he did not, because honoring is not obeying. They are not the same.

In the context of the Ephesian church, children had to be taught obedience first. The concept of obedience to parents was not a universal principle in the pagan world. In the context of the Old Testament Israelites, however, obedience already had been taught. Israel’s problem was in being technically obedient on the outside, and disrespectful on the inside. Therefore, God through Moses dealt with the inner problem first, by saying it is not enough to obey, but that there must also be respect, or honor.

Also, children may be obedient out of fear. They may hate their parents every step of the way, but have such fear of the consequences that they obey anyway.

Christian parents who are taught in the Word should not be putting anything on their children that is not godly. Obedience in relationships is always related to how Jesus treats the Church. If you have godly parents who are dealing with you on a godly basis, and they are asking you to do godly things, you do not have a problem. But what happens if a child is in a situation where he may be a Christian, and his parents are not? That child may have a choice to make, because the parents may say things like, "As long as you are under my roof, eating my food, you will do what I tell you. Otherwise, you will have to leave." I believe God will honor the child’s choice, and find someone else to take care of him if he chooses to leave his parents.

In situations like that, you can still honor your parents, because what you are honoring is the office of parent. In Romans 13:7, Paul says to give honor to whom honor is due. I give honor to leaders in government because of their position, but that does not mean I agree with them. A leader may be the worst official we have in terms of his own lifestyle, but as long as he is in that office we are to treat him with the respect the office is due.

Colossians 3:
16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
18. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

At first, verse 20 would seem to contradict everything I have said. However, notice that verse 17 says, And whatever you do in word or deed . . . . In other words, whatever you do, do it in the name of Jesus. You cannot be a prostitute or peddle drugs in the name of the Lord Jesus. You cannot commit fornication in the name of the Lord Jesus, or adultery, or stealing, or gossiping and backbiting, and you should not do it if your parents tell you do it, either!

There is another area where choices have to be made sometimes between obeying parents and obeying God. Girls who are Christians are sometimes led astray and become pregnant, especially if their home environment has not been godly. Many parents today insist that the girls get abortions to save their own standing before friends, family, and church members.

Abortion is worse than getting pregnant. Getting pregnant before marriage is wrong, but according to my standards, which I believe are biblical, murder is worse than fornication. You should not do either of them, but if you have already committed one, don’t compound the error.

Abortion is premeditated, cold-blooded murder. It is not something done in the heat of passion. It is calculated. You have to make plans and preparations. For a Christian, it would be better to have the baby and let it be adopted if you cannot take care of it. The hand of the Lord could be on a baby in that situation, as it was with Moses. You can pray for the baby, even if you do not know where the child is.

Teenagers should absolutely disobey parents when parents insist on getting an abortion. Again, there may be a price to be paid. Your parents may put you on the street. They may disown you. You may have to find a home that takes in girls in trouble, whether it is privately owned, church-operated, or state-run, but you should do what your conscience and the Word says is best.

If a teenager gets pregnant, how much should parents contribute to the upkeep and upbringing of the baby? I have never been in the position of having to answer that question for myself, but what I think would be fair is that the girl who has the baby take care of it. However, I have enough sense to know that she cannot jump off of the delivery table and get a job the next day. What I would do is assist from a financial standpoint until the daughter started earning a paycheck. She could then pay back the money her parents spent on the baby, and take care of the baby from that point on. If the parents want to help out from there, that is up to them and their children.

Even to children, Paul says to do everything in the name of Jesus. That is the overriding principle and instruction. Under that covering, the biblical law is that a child is to obey the parents in everything that does not conflict with the first principle, which is obedience to God.



*When honoring parents and honoring God may conflict* By Apostle Frederick K.C. Price Ephesians 6:1-3 (NKJV) 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3. "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." The statement, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, was spoken to alert Christians to a particular aspect of the family. However, not every Christian child has Christian parents. Was Paul saying that children are to obey parents regardless of whether they are Christians or not? I believe what Paul meant was that, no matter how young children are, they are commanded to obey their parents when what the parents tell them is consistent with God’s Word. They have no other alternative if they are to remain in the perfect will of God. When I was younger, a lady and her daughter were part of a group that I ran with. You never saw the woman with her husband on a consistent basis. We heard things about her, but we always saw her and her daughter together. Later, we found out the mother was a prostitute, and she was training the daughter to be a prostitute. The Word and the Lord would be the only way out of that kind of life for that daughter. If she became born-again, she would have to follow her conscience and God’s will, and refuse to obey her mother. It would have been a very hard situation for her, perhaps almost unbearable, but it would have been a case where she would have to put God first, not her parents. Other families teach their children to steal before the children have a chance to listen to their conscience. The parents send their child into a store, and make a game out of shoplifting. The child thinks it is fun. If that child became born-again, and received the revelation that what such activity was sin, he would have to stop and not obey his parents. There probably would be hard repercussions to endure, such as beatings, but the obligation would be to God first. In such a case, hopefully, a child would have a pastor or a Christian friend to appeal to. The principle involved is that children are required only to obey their parents in the Lord. There may be some things parents will tell their children to do that are not scripturally oriented in one way or another, such as personal rules and regulations of the house. As long as these rules are not in clear violation of the Word of God, children are to obey. For example, the Bible does not tell children to brush their teeth. However, if the parents insist that their children brush their teeth, they have no right to disobey. If they do, they are in rebellion, and that will create some spiritual problems for them. Because one of the Ten Commandments is to "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you" (Exodus 20:12), we might think Paul should have mentioned that first. But he did not, because honoring is not obeying. They are not the same. In the context of the Ephesian church, children had to be taught obedience first. The concept of obedience to parents was not a universal principle in the pagan world. In the context of the Old Testament Israelites, however, obedience already had been taught. Israel’s problem was in being technically obedient on the outside, and disrespectful on the inside. Therefore, God through Moses dealt with the inner problem first, by saying it is not enough to obey, but that there must also be respect, or honor. Also, children may be obedient out of fear. They may hate their parents every step of the way, but have such fear of the consequences that they obey anyway. Christian parents who are taught in the Word should not be putting anything on their children that is not godly. Obedience in relationships is always related to how Jesus treats the Church. If you have godly parents who are dealing with you on a godly basis, and they are asking you to do godly things, you do not have a problem. But what happens if a child is in a situation where he may be a Christian, and his parents are not? That child may have a choice to make, because the parents may say things like, "As long as you are under my roof, eating my food, you will do what I tell you. Otherwise, you will have to leave." I believe God will honor the child’s choice, and find someone else to take care of him if he chooses to leave his parents. In situations like that, you can still honor your parents, because what you are honoring is the office of parent. In Romans 13:7, Paul says to give honor to whom honor is due. I give honor to leaders in government because of their position, but that does not mean I agree with them. A leader may be the worst official we have in terms of his own lifestyle, but as long as he is in that office we are to treat him with the respect the office is due. Colossians 3: 16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. 18. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. At first, verse 20 would seem to contradict everything I have said. However, notice that verse 17 says, And whatever you do in word or deed . . . . In other words, whatever you do, do it in the name of Jesus. You cannot be a prostitute or peddle drugs in the name of the Lord Jesus. You cannot commit fornication in the name of the Lord Jesus, or adultery, or stealing, or gossiping and backbiting, and you should not do it if your parents tell you do it, either! There is another area where choices have to be made sometimes between obeying parents and obeying God. Girls who are Christians are sometimes led astray and become pregnant, especially if their home environment has not been godly. Many parents today insist that the girls get abortions to save their own standing before friends, family, and church members. Abortion is worse than getting pregnant. Getting pregnant before marriage is wrong, but according to my standards, which I believe are biblical, murder is worse than fornication. You should not do either of them, but if you have already committed one, don’t compound the error. Abortion is premeditated, cold-blooded murder. It is not something done in the heat of passion. It is calculated. You have to make plans and preparations. For a Christian, it would be better to have the baby and let it be adopted if you cannot take care of it. The hand of the Lord could be on a baby in that situation, as it was with Moses. You can pray for the baby, even if you do not know where the child is. Teenagers should absolutely disobey parents when parents insist on getting an abortion. Again, there may be a price to be paid. Your parents may put you on the street. They may disown you. You may have to find a home that takes in girls in trouble, whether it is privately owned, church-operated, or state-run, but you should do what your conscience and the Word says is best. If a teenager gets pregnant, how much should parents contribute to the upkeep and upbringing of the baby? I have never been in the position of having to answer that question for myself, but what I think would be fair is that the girl who has the baby take care of it. However, I have enough sense to know that she cannot jump off of the delivery table and get a job the next day. What I would do is assist from a financial standpoint until the daughter started earning a paycheck. She could then pay back the money her parents spent on the baby, and take care of the baby from that point on. If the parents want to help out from there, that is up to them and their children. Even to children, Paul says to do everything in the name of Jesus. That is the overriding principle and instruction. Under that covering, the biblical law is that a child is to obey the parents in everything that does not conflict with the first principle, which is obedience to God.

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