Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash
Father’s Day funnies

 Celebrate this Father's Day with humor. Share laughs and jokes with friends and family and make everyone happy.
Dead Sea Gull
      A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son, Bob. ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. 
       "Daddy, what happened to him?" Bob asked.
       "He died and went to heaven," the dad replied.
        Bob thought a moment and then asked, "Did God throw him back down?" 

Poor Preacher
      After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
      "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
       "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had." 

Letters between son and dad
Dear Dad,
      $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
      Your $on
The Dad’s Reply:
Dear Son,
      I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

New and Improved
      The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. Every once in a while she would alternately stroke her own cheek, then his again.
      Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
      "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
      "Oh,” she said. "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
      "Yes, indeed, honey," he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
      "Oh," she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now, isn't he?"

Penny Trick
      After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of their talking helped. 
      To calm him down, his father palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. 
      In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!" 

Setting the Table
      Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently, everything was done.  The guest came in and everyone sat down. Then mother noticed something was missing. 
      "Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."
      "I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan. 
      "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

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